Download File Chapter Nine - Intimacy Download File Table of Contents Cover Page
By Ron Perry 22 Jan, 2020
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 The Message It is true that we are not to worry about tomorrow for it will do no good. It is also true that it is foolish to make plans for the future. The Parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:13-21) suggests that God is not too impressed with the plans we make, particularly if our plans disregard His plans for our life. Yet I don’t think God wants us to just sit on our hands, hoping something will come along. It seems to me that having a vision for the year might be a good place to start. A vision that starts with a prayer asking God to enable you to use the gifting and talents that He has given you, to in some way put them to use to serve the Kingdom. The vision should be different than the meaningless resolutions that many of us make at the start of a New Year but rather a set of goals that would draw you closer to God by year end. A good place to start might be the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-40).We are called to love God with all our heart, all our soul and all our mind. With this as a vision you need only ask yourself, as you are about to make a decision, does what I’m about to do demonstrate a love for God. If it doesn’t fit with your vision, don’t do it. In the same verses we are called to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. If that is you vision you need only ask yourself at the end of each day, did I demonstrate the love of God to at least one person today? IF you are married that neighbor includes your spouse. The vision might be how you handle your finances. If your vision is to handle them in accordance with Scripture then learn what Scripture has to say about money and again ask yourself at the end of each day, “did I handle my finances in accord with God’s Word?” Perhaps you have an addiction of some sort. A vision might be to have victory over your addiction by the end of the year. (Don’t wait until November to start). You will only have victory with the help of the Holy Spirit. A broader vision might be to adopt 1 Corinthians 10:31 “…whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” Again at the end of each day ask yourself whether or not everything you did glorified God.
By Ron Perry 22 Jan, 2020
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 The Message It is true that we are not to worry about tomorrow for it will do no good. It is also true that it is foolish to make plans for the future. The Parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:13-21) suggests that God is not too impressed with the plans we make, particularly if our plans disregard His plans for our life. Yet I don’t think God wants us to just sit on our hands, hoping something will come along. It seems to me that having a vision for the year might be a good place to start. A vision that starts with a prayer asking God to enable you to use the gifting and talents that He has given you, to in some way put them to use to serve the Kingdom. The vision should be different than the meaningless resolutions that many of us make at the start of a New Year but rather a set of goals that would draw you closer to God by year end. A good place to start might be the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-40).We are called to love God with all our heart, all our soul and all our mind. With this as a vision you need only ask yourself, as you are about to make a decision, does what I’m about to do demonstrate a love for God. If it doesn’t fit with your vision, don’t do it. In the same verses we are called to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. If that is you vision you need only ask yourself at the end of each day, did I demonstrate the love of God to at least one person today? IF you are married that neighbor includes your spouse. The vision might be how you handle your finances. If your vision is to handle them in accordance with Scripture then learn what Scripture has to say about money and again ask yourself at the end of each day, “did I handle my finances in accord with God’s Word?” Perhaps you have an addiction of some sort. A vision might be to have victory over your addiction by the end of the year. (Don’t wait until November to start). You will only have victory with the help of the Holy Spirit. A broader vision might be to adopt 1 Corinthians 10:31 “…whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” Again at the end of each day ask yourself whether or not everything you did glorified God.
MGW

Marriage

God's

Way.

- The experience. 

The  Experience


The experience consists of bringing together six couples who have been married for less than two years and form a cohort. It is not recommended for couples who have been married much longer than two years because habits have become too ingrained and each partner is less likely to acknowledge that they are the biggest problem in the marriage.   
The cohort meets once a month for a year. They meet in the home of one of the co-leading couples. The co-leaders have typically been married for more than ten years. The sessions are highly interactive, they begin with refreshments followed by a discussion that lasts about an hour. Homework is assigned at the end of each session. The assignment consists of having a conversation with one another about the content just covered and figuring out how to best apply what you learned.

The basis of the materials is decidedly Christian. However, spiritual maturity is not a requirement. To benefit from the discussions one must only be open to BIblical principles. Non-Christian couples who apply what they hear can benefit.

The cohort provides an opportunity to build relationships with couples who are going through a similar season of life. The rose colored glasses are still on but a little askew. The couples are usually surprised to learn how much they have in common. We all learn from one another, including the co-leaders. Pre-marriage counseling can be very beneficial but most couples are not aware of the surprises that await them.

How it began.

The concept was born out of my personal marital experiences and my time as a marriage counselor. Many of the couples I counseled were married for ten years plus. Their habits; their beliefs about one another; and their unwillingness to take personal responsibility for the state of their marriage and/or do the hard work required led to little change. I became more frustrated with my inability to help these couples. I began to turn the corner when Paul Tripp shared with me that “marriage counseling is the easiest form of counseling there is.” He went on to say, “because you know what the couples problem is before you ever see them.” Silence was my best response. He then said, “the biggest problem in all marriages is self-centeredness.” This was a game changer.  

I began to realize that most newlyweds come to marriage with a fresh perspective. They are willing to laugh about their quirks and ingrained habits. They are more willing to change and take personal responsibility for what is not working well.   

List of Topics:
The Purpose of Marriage, A Vision for Marriage, Self-centeredness, Love and Respect, Intimacy, Forgiveness, Communications, Conflict, Finances , Building Up One Another, Expectations, Spiritual Leadership, Decision Making, Gender Differences

Why people believe in us

“These sessions should be mandatory for any newly married couple”
J.W. Summit Church
“I see these sessions as a gift from God that helped to strip away my selfish/sinful perspective that only valued my own input, and has put into perspective my need for the gospel and the joy that is found in understanding and being understood by the one person I love most in this life.”
D.B. Imago Dei Church
“...We could sense the Holy Spirit working hard on our relationship with each other and God as the months progressed.” 
H.S. Summit Church
“I suggest every newly married couple go through this (experience). Our marriage will be impacted by this last year till death do us part.”
C.T. Summit Church
Available from Amazon.com in soft cover, on Kindle or Kindle unlimited

 About Me.


My pre-marriage counseling consisted of a brief meeting with a Pastor who seemed more uncomfortable than I was. What my wife to be and I knew about parenting, managing money, communicating, resolving conflict, and modeling a Biblically based marriage could have been written on the head of a pin. After seven years of marriage my wife was diagnosed with bi-polar illness with a touch of schizophrenia. Needless to say our marriage had more bumps in the road than a Pennsylvania highway. But God was faithful throughout our 38 years of marriage and because of my first wife I have grown spiritually, emotionally, and practically. The Lord called Barbara home in 2002 and she is in a far better place. I think my real passion to see marriages thrive was born both out of the adversity of my first marriage and the incredible blessing of my second. Kathleen and I met on eHarmony in the summer of 2003 and we were married the following Valentine’s Day. 
I earned my undergraduate degree from Case-Western Reserve University, my MBA from the University of Pittsburgh and my Master of Arts in Counseling from Biblical Seminary. The bulk of my work experience consisted of 35 years with a major corporation and twelve years with a non-denominational church in the Philadelphia area. I am currently a semi-retired Pastor of Marriage living in the Raleigh area.
-Ron Perry
P.S let's connect!
You can reach me at ronp6943@gmail.com
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