Wednesday, 18 June 2014

The Truth is Always in the Middle – Part II

In Part One I shared one of the more valuable lessons that I learned in the early years as a counselor.  Simply, there are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in the middle.  In that posting I said that each person has their perception of reality and their accounting of it can seem incredibly real.  My point was that until you hear the story from another person’s point of view you might only have a distorted picture of reality.

In Part One I discussed cases where women and sought out the counsel of Godly women regarding their marriage only to be told to seek a divorce.  These well-meaning women had heard only one side of the story.  In most cases the counsel did not line up with Scripture. The point is that if you are asked to give advice be aware that you are not getting the full story, and be certain your counsel aligns with Scripture. 

However there is a second category which may even have the appearance of seeking counsel but in reality it is a more slippery slope.  I am referring to going to someone of the opposite gender and sharing your personal life and talking down your spouse.  You may just be seeking sympathy or you may have a more hidden agenda.  Most affairs start because of some unmet emotional need not because there is some delusion that the sex is going to be fantastic.

As in the case of what I cited in Part I, you as the recipient of such an overture must understand (a) that you are only hearing one side of the story and (b) the person sharing with you may have an ulterior motive, even if it is only subconscious.  This is double jeopardy if the person being approached is also experiencing and emotional deficit.  In such a case it is only a matter of time before things start spiraling out of control.

The more convincing the individual the more certain you are that you are hearing fact.  This is rarely the case.  You need only remember that the truth is somewhere in the middle.  In the case described above you must refuse to participate in this “adult game”.  It is hard for well-meaning Christians who want to help their fellow man when he/she seems to be hurting.  Direct the individual to a Biblical counselor and offer to pray for them right on the spot.


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