Wednesday, 19 March 2014

God’s Plan for Mentoring You - Part II

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

Part I of this blog (March 17, 2017) suggested that sometimes the things that are hardest in life are the most beneficial.  It also suggested that most of us tend to grow more spiritually in times of adversity than when things are calm.  As stated I believe that part of God’s plan for our sanctification (becoming more like His Son) involves our spouse.  No one is in a better position to see us at our best and our worst.  No one on earth should love us more than our husband/wife.  In the Garden when God created a “helper” for Adam He created one who could make up for the deficiencies in Adam (The Hebrew word ezer).  Each being created in the image of God, each having some unique characteristics.  This is a great example of the old cliché the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.  A husband and wife can definitely be better together.

Part I offered an approach for newly married couples to try.  If you have been married for a number of years and have not viewed each other’s input as a positive resource then this approach will be a little more challenging.  A wife’s insights might come across as nagging or being critical.  A husband’s attempt to help his wife grow might be construed as dissatisfaction. 

Step number one is to accept the premise that it is God who ultimately brought you together and that He plans to use your differences, both positive and negative, for the purpose of becoming more like God’s Son.

Step two.  Love must be the lead foot followed closely by trust.  There is no room for sarcasm, criticism, or personal agendas.  In the area of spiritual growth or how I can be a better husband, who could give me better insight than my wife.  I value her opinion, and I see in her qualities that I do not possess.   Hopefully my wife is willing to share in this experiment of mentoring one another, i.e. helping each other to become more like Christ.

Some ground rules you may want to set:

1)     Talk about something recent, don’t focus on ancient history.

2)     Initially keep the time limit shore, i.e. 20 minutes total.

3)     Take turns each week going first.

4)     Stay focused, on one topic

5)     Talk calmly, saying only that which is helpful for building each other up. Ephesians 4:29.

6)     Do not stop talking about an issue until you can both clearly articulate the others point of view even if it takes several sessions.

7)     Start and end with prayer.

8)     Begin with subjects that are less controversial, easier to address.

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