Monday, 17 March 2014

God’s Plan for Mentoring You - Part I

The whole point of what we’re urging is simply love—love uncontaminated by self-interest and counterfeit faith, a life open to God. 1Timothy 1:5

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth 1Corinthians 13:6

 Sometimes the things that are hardest in life are the most beneficial.  Without question I tend to grow more spiritually in times of adversity than when things are calm.  I truly believe that part of God’s plan for our sanctification (becoming more like His Son) involves our spouse.  No one is in a better position to see us at our best and our worst.  No one on earth should love us more than our husband/wife.  In the Garden when God created a “helper” for Adam He created one who could make up for the deficiencies in Adam (The Greek work ezer).  Each being created in the image of God, each having some unique characteristics.  This is a great example of the old cliché the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.  A husband and wife can definitely be better together.

The problem, as I see it, is that if you didn’t start your married life giving each other permission to speak into the lives of one another this will come across as far more theoretical than practical.  A wife’s insights might come across as nagging or being critical.  A husband’s attempt to help his wife grow might be construed as dissatisfaction.  Your motives will be in question if over the years you have not accepted God’s use of your spouse as being part of His plan for your development.

Love must be the lead foot followed closely by trust.  If I’m convinced that next to God my wife loves me more than anyone on earth (and I am) and I trust her implicitly (which I do) then I welcome her suggestions, particularly in the area of spiritual growth or how I can be a better husband.  I value her opinion, and I see in her qualities that I do not possess.   Ideally we can mentor one another, helping each other to become more Christlike.

So if you are newly married I would suggest that you try something my wife and I did from week one.  We set aside the first thing Saturday morning for the sole purpose of discussing anything that may have come up during the week that didn’t get resolved to our satisfaction.

If you have been married for some time and developed some bad habits, i.e. lack of trust, complaining, nagging and demonstrating dissatisfaction, then this will be a steep hill to climb BUT with God all things are possible.  If you are in this category please see the post for March 19, 2014.

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