Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Is it a Matter of Choice?

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." -2 Corinthians 7:10 

As someone who grew up in what I perceived to be the idyllic home, I have been saddened by the number of people who are carrying with them incredibly deep wounds from ten, twenty, thirty years ago.  I have also been perplexed by the number who have claimed Christ as Lord and Savior.  I recognize that in some cases the stories are horrific, i.e. stories of rape, incest, physical abuse, etc.  In many other cases it has been the lack of love and affirmation from one or more parents that becomes the baggage they continue to carry.

It has become less surprising to me that these individuals are unhappy in their marriage.  In many cases they were subconsciously looking for someone to fill the void left by their pain. They want love, compassion and understanding. Or they actually marry someone who has the same dysfunctional personality flaws as the person who induced the wounds.

Christ died that we may live.  That might sound like a glib remark to someone who is carrying deep wounds of rejection, abandonment and emotional pain.  But the words are true none the less.  Do you think Christ forgave those who spit on him, whipped him, and pounded nails in his flesh?  You say of course but He is God.  I say at that time he was man, and the pain, suffering and humility that he endured was every bit as hurtful.  His own Father temporarily turned his back on his Son.  His own people disowned him.

Through the Holy Spirit that same person who endured the cross resides in you, if you have been born again.  Jesus is not asking you to forget what has happened to you but he is asking you to forgive.  The pain that you are carrying with you is undoubtedly hurting some of your relationships and is definitely like a poison in your system.  The perpetrator of your wounds may or may not be suffering in some way but you can be set free.  Tell God that you have been unable to forgive (name the person(s)) and that you want the help of the Holy Spirit to give you the grace you need to forgive.

If this has described you ask yourself if it is possible that your current relationship with your husband or wife has suffered as a result of the baggage that you brought with you into marriage.  If so, perhaps you need to ask them to forgive you, for you have been looking to them to provide what only God can provide.

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