Friday, 22 November 2013

Says Who?

29 Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them. Ephesians 4: 29 The Voice

Do you consider yourself an expert in dealing with human relationships?  Are you able to read minds?  Are you able to foretell the future?  Do you like to feel emotional pain?  Do you enjoy being disappointed, frustrated and hurt?

My guess is that the vast majority of you answered “NO” to the above questions.  So let me ask you another question that will take a little more thought.  What do you say to yourself as you go through each day?
Let me clarify what I am asking and why.  We all talk to ourselves throughout the day.  Research suggests that 77% of our self-talk is negative.  Such talk fits into the category that I call “self-inflicted wounds.”  For unless you are able to read minds, foretell the future, like emotional pain or enjoy being frustrated, disappointed and hurt why on earth would you spend so much time dwelling on the negative?

Ephesians 4:29 tells us that we are to offer “fresh words that build others up when they need it most.”  Why then would you let “rotten words seep out of your mouth” when talking to yourself.

Let’s get more specific.  How often do you have negative thoughts about your partner?  If, as you go through your day, you are thinking “he doesn’t do this”, “she always nags me to…” “ I wish she would get off my case”, and “I’ll bet other husbands don’t spend all their time…” then you are creating a mental quick sand that will just draw you down deeper and deeper.

To satisfy your own curiosity record your self-talk for one day.  At the end of the day see how many of the thoughts were negative and how many were positive.  What topic comprised most of your negative thoughts?   Whether the negative thoughts are about your spouse, your kids, your work, etc. you are subconsciously sabotaging your future.
This is not meant to suggest that when you are in a negative situation you should become a Polly Anna, i.e. approach life as if it were a game that consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation.

However as long as you are going to talk to yourself, and you will, why not dwell on the positive AND when you must consider something that is negative think about how you might make it better.

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