Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Values Based Leadership – Part I

My son recently introduced me to a concept which I found helpful in understanding why I respond to certain things the way I do, why I’m motivated by some things and irritated by others.  The concept is known as Values Based Leadership in corporate America.

A hidden force behind our decisions Our personal values at work help us determine what is and isn’t worthwhile for us. They have a great influence on our decisions and long term directions. They’re our prime motivators and source of inspiration, and sometimes override what others expect of us. However, most people are not aware of their most important personal values. When people know their most important personal values, they develop a much deeper understanding of what it takes to be inspired. That often stimulates ideas about how to motivate and inspire themselves and others.

What are personal values?  Personal values are standards or principles that have a major influence on our thinking, feeling, behavior and results.  Some examples range from the abstract, i.e. happiness, respect and integrity, to the more concrete, i.e. efficiency and a sense of accomplishment.  Personal values can also be short phrases like “Making a difference” or “Doing the right thing”

The most abstract values like “Inner peace,” “Happiness” and “Feeling good” are almost always the most important. Our choices of values are influenced by our genetics and our life experiences in family, schools, relationships, religion, and other contexts. Values and their importance can change over time as a result of significant emotional experiences and life transitions

Where does Values Based Leadership fit in and what does it all have to do with marriage?   The methodology provides a great way to resolve potential conflicts.

Here are the six game changing questions that make this work:

1.    What’s most important to you personally in this situation?

2.    What else is important?

3.    What did you mean by …?

4.    What has to happen to get that?

5.    What can you and I do or influence?

6.    What has to change?

This model presumes that our values and beliefs generate feelings which manifest themselves in a certain behavior.  If we exhibit an undesirable behavior we may want to change it.  To do so we as Christians need to draw upon the Holy Spirit to bring about a  heart change with regard to the belief that is driving our negative behavior.

I’ll explain in Part II how this would work in marriage both in terms of solving problems and motivating one another.

 

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