Monday, 10 June 2013

Now You Tell Me

One of my favorite Christian authors is John Ortberg.  I tend to be fairly simplistic so his humor, stories and practical application of Biblical principles really appeals to me.  An example comes from his book The Me I Want to Be .

Someone once said they thought the best marriage in the Bible was between Noah and Joan of Ark…nowhere in the Bible do a couple get married and then live “happily ever after. In the Bible, marriage is not the fulfillment of our dreams; it is a place where we learn. 

Can’t you just hear the pastor saying, “Dearly beloved we are here today to witness the joining of this couple for the purpose of learning – learning more about their sinful nature, learning more about life and learning how to cope with someone as sinful as they are.”

That would be the last wedding ceremony that pastor would perform.  But perhaps it is a lack of honesty before our nuptials that contributes too much of the dissatisfaction afterwards.  What happened to the person I dated?  Where did those irritating mannerisms come from?  I thought after we were married I could change them.  Don’t I deserve to be happy and fulfilled?  Isn’t he/she supposed to meet my needs?  I expected them to…

As long as our paradigm about marriage focuses on what marriage should do for me it will never work.  There is no Mr. or Ms. Right because nowhere in the universe is there someone waiting to cater to all your whims.

Now consider the possibility that God, in His infinite wisdom, has a different plan for marriage.  He wants our marriage to bring glory and honor to Him while at the same time bringing us inexpressible joy. Counter-intuitive as it may seem God wired us to be most fulfilled when we are giving sacrificially.  As a Christian we are to have a desire to become more and more like Christ, and He redefined the word sacrifice.

If you have found that your marriage is less than you had hoped it would be why not accept a challenge for 30 days. At the beginning of the challenge rate your marital satisfaction on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being great).  At the end of the 30 days, assuming you have truly been other centered, rate your satisfaction. During this time put your spouse’s desires ahead of your own, his/her deal ahead of your deal, their needs ahead of your needs.

Let me know what happens

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