Monday, 11 February 2013

Closet Anger

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:31-2

Dennis Rainey, President of Family Life said, “I believe anger is one of the most dangerous and least talked about emotions. Anger can destroy marriages. It can devastate families. It can crush young people who grow up in homes where they are treated with disrespect and contempt.

There are many people who seemingly never have a problem with their tempers in public but are more volatile than you'd ever imagine in their own homes and families.”

 Anger is also a topic that I don’t like to write about particularly since recently I was accused of being angry.  Fortunately it was not my wife who was the accuser.  My anger is rarely directed at a person but I’ve given my computer a piece of my mind on many occasions, enough about me.

 Matthew 12:34 tells us that what comes out of one’s mouth is from the overflow of one’s heart.  If someone is spewing anger it is because there is anger inside of them.  Those who are angry always want to blame someone else or blame their circumstances.  When in fact it is not an external event or person who is responsible for the anger, it rightfully belongs to the person who is expressing it.

The anger is a manifestation of something else going on inside the angry person. Major contributors of someone exhibiting anger are fear, a response to being hurt or a loss of control.

As a Christian we should dig down to determine the source of our anger. For example if my feelings were hurt – why did I take it personally? Could God use the other person’s slight to grow me? If something didn’t go according to my plan (or else I wouldn’t be angry) I need to ask myself “What was my desired outcome?”  Then ask myself, “Why did I desire that outcome?”  In other words what is the true driving motivation behind my anger?  If my fear is causing my anger I’m not trusting God.  When we experience negative feelings it often is a red flag that we have a heart issue, that something has become more important than God, i.e. our reputation, our desires, our need to control, etc.

We should go to God and repent and ask Him to heal us, to free us from our anger.  I should then go to anyone I have offended with my anger and ask them to forgive me.

 

 

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