Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

As I ponder the old axiom that “actions speak louder than words”, I’m convinced it was penned by a guy.  Most men don’t like to talk they like to do.  The following suggestion from Mort Fertel is right up the guys alley, so to speak.

Focus on behaviors that you can change that don’t require a long winded discussion. Making these changes can improve your relationship and help you to focus on the positive without having to talk about it.

Now as a Biblical counselor I am more about heart change than I am about behavioral change.  However I am aware that there is a school of thought that if one changes their behavior their heart will follow.  The bottom line is that our marriages should bring praise and honor to the Lord.  If the following behaviors can lead to that end then I endorse them heartily.

1. Have Fun Together

Couples sometimes get stuck in a rut…doing some fun activities together can put a spark back in your marriage.

2. Touch Each Other

Physical touch does wonderful things for couples…When you behave affectionately, it impacts your feelings. So, hugging and kissing can actually make you feel more loving toward your spouse. So go ahead and hold hands or cuddle up on the couch together and rekindle some loving feelings.

3. Communicate Non-Verbally

Your facial expressions, gestures and non-verbal cues speak volumes…Use your non-verbal communication to communicate loving feelings. Offer a smile from across the room. Cut tension with a silly dance. Show your excitement with your face. Non-verbal gestures play a big role in the overall communication style and by focusing on them, you can learn to change your non-verbal communication for the better.

4. Use the Element of Surprise

Surprises don’t have to be big or expensive. Instead, sometimes just the little things can make a big difference. For example, leave your sweetie a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says, “I love you,” or send a special text message during the day just to say hello. These little things can help you stay connected even when you’re apart.

5. Do Something Nice

A random act of kindness shouldn’t be all that random in marriage…Look for a chore that can make your spouse’s load a little lighter. Cook dinner, do the dishes or mow the lawn so your spouse doesn’t have to. Let your spouse know that you care and that you are willing to take on this task so he doesn’t have to.

 

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