Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Friends of the Opposite Sex

The question has been asked whether or not it is okay for a married person to have friends of the opposite sex.

It is hard to give a definitive answer to this question but my gut tells me that it is not a good idea.  First of all current research seems to be indicating that the best marriage partners are people of the opposite sex who are or could be best friends.  You have much in common, or you are interested in the person for some other reason, or you just enjoy the company of one another.

Secondly, a recent study done by the University of Wisconsin indicates that men are often attracted to their female friends AND they presume their female friend is attracted to them.

We are not talking about casual acquaintances when we are talking friends.  A friend is someone you call in the middle of the night when you have just received bad news.  A friend is someone in whom you confide your deepest, most intimate secrets.  A friend cares about you so much that they accept you for who you are but they are willing to run the risk of being candid regarding some possible flaw.  A friend is someone you laugh and cry with, someone who will sit in a hospital waiting room with you for hours awaiting the doctor’s report.
 
I’m good at stating the obvious.  Let’s assume that a relatively high percentage of married couples are in a marriage that they find less than fulfilling, which our divorce statistics would tend to substantiate.  Let’s assume two well meaning individuals of the opposite sex, who are in a marriage that is less than satisfactory, begin to develop a friendship.  How long will it be before they each realize the other is unhappy?  If you can’t see where this is going you have led a very sheltered life.

1Peter 5:8 tells us that we should be “sober minded; be watchful.  (Because) Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Satan likes nothing better than to bring down a marriage, particularly a Christian marriage because such a marriage is to be a reflection of the Son’s relationship to His bride, the church.  Marriage is to glorify God.  If Satan can make a mockery of it, he gets one in the win column.

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