Friday, 12 October 2012

The Slippery Slope

There are a number of reoccurring themes when writing exclusively about marriage.  One such theme is how important it is to stay connected and spend time together having fun.  The arrival of children makes this doubly important.  So here are some questions you need to ask and answer.

How Did You Spend Your Time When You Dated and How Do You Spend Your Time Now?

For many couples there is a huge difference in how they spend their time together.  You may have spent hours talking on the phone.  You may have gone to movies, cooked dinner together or eaten out, and perhaps you went for a run together.  Today most conversations last less than five minutes and the topic is household administration.  The last movie was from Netflix, the last meal out was pizza in, and the thought of jogging makes you break into a sweat.

What Did You Talk About and What Do You Talk About Now?

Perhaps you talked for hours about your hopes and dreams, goals, your favorite songs, or movies, and what you liked best about each other.  Today you text each other about who can pick up the dry cleaning.  Your goal is to make it through the day without a meltdown.  You can’t remember the name of your favorite song, and you haven’t affirmed one another in so long that you can’t recall who the President of the US was at the time.

How Did You Care for Yourself then and How Do You Care For Yourself Now?

Most likely your clothes were cleaned and pressed were somewhat color coordinated.  There is a good chance that your hair was cut, combed/brushed and in place.  You probably tried to cover up any blemishes and you took a bath or shower just before leaving the house, doused in either cologne or perfume.  Today’s wardrobe features a college sweatshirt and jeans with holes in them, your hair hasn’t seen a comb in days, the heck with the blemishes and you took a shower yesterday and that’s good enough.The aroma you are giving off is Deep Heat Rub which you applied to your sore back.

How Did You Treat One Another Then and How Do You Treat One Another Now?

When you dated all you could think about was how to please the other person.  You were incredibly helpful and polite.  You sincerely cared about what the other person was experiencing, how they were feeling, and how you could make their life easier.  Today it is every man for himself. The kindest thing you do is to try to stay out of each other’s way and you are primarily concerned about what you are experiencing.

IF this even comes close to describing your life then and now make a commitment to do something about it!

 

 

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