Thursday, 27 September 2012

Good Advice as Far as It Goes - Part I

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

Mort Fertel
I have often utilized a non-Christian counseling blog site written by Mort Fertel’s organization as a springboard from which to launch a discussion from a Christian perspective.   From a secular perspective he usually gives sound advice.  In a recent blog entitled “Four Areas that Can Predict Marital Success” Mort offered the following statement:

There are four important areas that can predict long-term marital success. When couples agree on the basics about kids, money, in-laws, and faith, they are much more likely to remain happily married. They don’t need to agree on every aspect of these issues but sharing the same basic values about them can make a big difference in their marital satisfaction.

The target audience for Mort’s posting is most likely those who are single.  However, I’m going to address my comments to those who are married as well.  If you are a Christian and single do not consider dating a non-Christian.  By dating a non-Christian you are operating on the assumption that if you were to marry you would change the other person.  That is foolish and naive.  Or you are saying that God’s Word is not all that important when it comes to “love.”  That too is foolish and na├»ve.  For those of you who are Christians but married to a non-believer it will be more difficult for you to resolve differences in these potentially problematic areas but it can be done.  For those of you who are equally yoked it should be easier to resolve differences if your goal is to glorify God.

If you have not had a discussion about each other’s values, beliefs and worldviews this would be a good starting point.  By better understanding each other’s point of reference it could facilitate your coming to agreement in some of these areas that Mort has identified as potential landmines for marriage.  You may find that one or both of you are holding on to old paradigms that don’t stand the test of time, or you can’t remember why you hold a particular point of view, and/or you realize that certain values and beliefs have been deeply ingrained in you or your spouse since childhood.

Of the four areas that Mort referenced obviously I think faith is the most important.  Your faith will provide the grid through which you see the world and it will help shape your values and beliefs.

Part II will be a little edgy particularly for those who consider themselves to be Christian.


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