Monday, 27 August 2012

Help is Just a Study Away

Don’t you just love science and in particular the information gleaned from various research studies?  For example:

·       a $315,000 NSF-funded study on whether playing Facebook's FarmVille can help adults develop relationships;  

·       an $80,000 study to examine why the same teams always end up leading March Madness (College Basketball tournament);

·       a $1.5 million grant for scientists to design a robot that can fold laundry -- at a rate of one towel every 25 minutes.

·       my favorite however is the grant given to study shrimp walking on tiny treadmills to measure the impact of sickness on crustaceans – the price tag unspecified.

As a marriage pastor I was glad to learn of the numerous research studies that have been conducted on behalf of marriage.  Thanks to Mort Fertel’s Marriage Counseling Blog I learned of some results backed data that, if applied, might improve your marriage or at least your health or prospects of a longer life.

Number 1.  Men who kiss their wives good-bye in the morning live on the average of five years longer and supposedly earn more money over their lifetime.

Number 2. Smiling predicts marriage success.  This study examined photos taken of people when they were much younger.  The study found that those who smiled least in these pictures were five times more likely to divorce.

Number 3. Older men enjoy sex more.  Supposedly men in their 50’s reported more sexual satisfaction then men in their 30’s and 40’s.

Number 4. Saying thank you can improve your marriage.  Researchers at Arizona State University determined that when people said “thank you” after their partner completed chores their relationship satisfaction went up and their resentment went down.

Number 5.  Choose your words wisely.  A Journal of Psychology and Aging study revealed that couples who used words such as “we”, “us”, and “our” when in conflict ultimately displayed more affection toward one another than couples who used “I”, “you” and “me”.

Number 6.  Stop nagging and improve your marriage.  Research done by the Journal of Family Psychology discovered that couples who were unhappy with their relationship within the first five years of marriage also had a 20% increase in negative communications, specifically nagging.

So bottom line seems to  be if you do a lot of kissing, expressing appreciation, remaining intimate, becoming one by using plural pronouns, and quit nagging you have an excellent chance of having a great marriage – unless of course you weren’t smiling when they took your prom picture.

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