Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Definition of Crazy

It has been said that the definition of crazy is to do something over and over again, the exact same way you have always done it, but expecting different results.

For example, I love the game of golf and I am terrible.  One of my bad habits is what is referred to as picking up.  This means that as I am swinging down to hit the ball I am looking up as though I had already hit it.  I have been playing golf for longer than most of you have been alive and never once have I looked up and hit a good shot.  That qualifies as crazy.

Unfortunately something similar can be said of many married couples.  They get in a rut; they do marriage the same way they have always done it.  Well almost always, in the early years it was different.  For now they have stopped communicating about hopes and dreams.  They seldom go on a date.  They rarely laugh together.  They spend little quality time together, as though time spent together in front of the TV watching the same inane programs counted as intimacy.  At some point, be it at the tenth year, fifteenth year or thirtieth year they come to the realization that they do not know one another.  That too is crazy.

These are the same couples who, prior to marriage, spent countless hours talking, laughing, and thoroughly enjoying one another’s company.  They found a way to have fun even if they had almost no money.

So what’s the point?  We as married couples can continue to argue about the same things over and over again, expecting a different outcome.  We as couples can spend little quality time together and wonder why when the kids are gone we have nothing in common.  We can continue to do life as we have done it for the past twenty years and ask ourselves why are we not happier as a couple?  And you are crazy if you think things will get better if you do nothing to change your routine.

So grab your partner and head off to Starbucks or Baskin and Robbins if you would prefer.  Order a Chocolate Carmel Cluster Frappe with double whipped cream and with paper and pencil ( or iPad and Dragon) each of you make your bucket list, i.e. those things you really want to do before you “kick the bucket”.  Set a time table and start on your lists.  Determine to sit together to do nothing but talk for a minimum of 30 minutes a week about nothing related to running the house.  Try to recreate your favorite date.  Find a couple who has a fabulous marriage and invite them over for dinner and ask them for the secret to their success.

Some crazy can be good!


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