Friday, 6 July 2012

You Don't Say

A number of years ago there was a movie entitled “Bucket List” with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nickolson.      The basic plot was that one of the men was going to die and he had a list of things that he wanted to do before he “kicked the bucket”.

Recently I was counseling a couple who was having a difficult time saying anything civil to one another.  Their concept of a conversation was “Did you get the cleaning?”  To which the response was a grunt.  So I recommended that they sit together at a time and place where there would be no disruptions and create their own Bucket Lists and then exchange them and talk about what may have surprised them, what they would like to do that was on the other person’s list, etc.  It turned out to be one of the most fun, civil conversations that the couple had had in years.

 To say conversation is a lost art wouldn’t make much sense to men since a two or three word sentence taxes our patience.  Texting, tweeting, Face Booking and other social media is filling the gap that women desperately need.  As it is, fewer women are finding it “necessary” to marry.  If a woman’s need for conversation is met by technology husbands could become extinct or at least an endangered species.

So listen up guys, come up with some topics that you and your wife could enjoy exploring together.  The first time you suggest having such a conversation you may want to take smelling salts with you.  If she has a bad heart you may want to break it to her gently. 

It is reported that most married couples talk less than 1.5 hours a week on non-household subjects.  I for one don’t want to be replaced by a smart phone which already has more functionality than I do as it is.

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