Friday, 16 March 2012

On a Scale of One to Ten - How is Your Marriage?

Before you answer that question there might be a few questions that you would like to ask. First off, define the scale, is ten good or bad? Secondly what is the basis for measurement? Is it a feeling of general happiness and contentment; is it an absence of much conflict; or a feeling that most expectations are being met? Perhaps feeling loved (woman) or respected (man) is your criteria of good. Or is it feeling secure; a feeling of being appreciated and cherished, etc.?

The first question is easy – it doesn’t matter; you can make the scale whatever you want it to be.

The second is a trick question – sorry. This blog is entitled marriage God’s way, so you would do well to assume that the correct answer is going to have something to do with God. I suspect that God’s standards for determining the quality of your marriage are tougher than any standards you may set.

Here’s the litmus test. Does your marriage bring glory and honor to God?

I wish I could give you a check list that says if you are doing these ten things your marriage glorifies God but I can’t. What I can do is attempt to identify some of the components of such a marriage.

• God is at the center of the marriage. The husband and wife spend a reasonable amount of time, most days, with God in prayer, and/or in His Word. Prayer precedes any major decision and includes both partners.

• Self-centeredness is the number one enemy of your marriage. With the help of the Holy Spirit, other-centeredness must rule as much as possible.

• The husband has made it a lifetime goal to continually learn how to love his wife. The model is Christ’s love for His bride, the church. It doesn’t mean giving in to everything his bride wants. It means being discerning and seeking to do what is always in her best interest. It means being willing to lay down his very life for her. His Biblical role is to lead, protect and provide.

• The wife understands that respect is what God has identified as being of primary importance to her husband. The Amplified translation expands that term to include notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly. And yes, she is called to submit.

• In Genesis 2 when God said “I will make a helper for him (Adam)” He used a term for helper that is only used two other times in Scripture, both applying to Himself. It implies one who is desperately needed.

• Sex is a gift given to married couples by God to connect them emotionally and physically. In a marriage that glorifies God sex is actively pursued by both the husband and the wife.

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