Thursday, 16 February 2012

Q & A - A Lesson for Husbands (and maybe wives)

In a recent posting Dr. Bob Snyder, author of Lessons Learned on the Journey, posed the question “Why ask a question when I have the answer?” Unfortunately this could be the theme song of most of us husbands. When it appears our wife is having a dilemma we ride in on our white horse with the bottom line answer. Often she just wants to process what she is thinking about. She is not looking for an answer. Some well phrased questions would often be more helpful.

Dr. Bob writes, “In discussions, I too often desire to share "my abundant knowledge," give inspiring advice or workable solutions rather than asking questions — questions that will genuinely clarify and shed light on the issues of the discussion.

Jesus often asked questions. His questions were shaped by His divine love and particular knowledge of each person. They cut through the clutter and respectfully addressed the real issues that people had. For instance, when an expert in the law tested Jesus by asking,

Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus responded, What is written in the Law? How do you read it? (Luke 10:26 NIV)

Yet when a rich young ruler came to Jesus with a similar question,

Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life? Jesus responded with a different question, Why do you ask me about what is good? (Matthew 19:16-17 NIV)
So perhaps my contributions to conversations would be enhanced by not only asking more questions, but also asking the right questions. That requires God's guidance. He may also guide me at times away from words and into silence and quiet prayer. But that requires immense humility and that is for another Lesson.”
The next time your wife seems perplexed ask her if she would just like to talk about the issue at hand or if in fact she is seeking some solution. You might be amazed at how much better the conversation will go and neither of you will be frustrated.

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