Wednesday, 22 February 2012

No Matter What

[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
Barbara Rainey, wife of Dennis Rainey –President of Family Life, describes the early years of marriage with Dennis. Perhaps a more committed couple you won’t find but that doesn’t mean that there were not times of struggle. I can certainly relate to the “Mr. Fixit” scenario. My father didn’t know which end of a screw driver to use and everything I know about fixing anything came from him. This was definitely a source of irritation for my wife, whose father attempted to fix anything and everything.

It didn't take me long to realize that Dennis was not like my father.

My dad was an all-American "Mr. Fixit." He loved working around the house and the yard--making repairs, painting, tinkering on the car.

Dennis, on the other hand, declared early on in jest that "if you can't fix something with baling wire and duct tape, you should throw it away and get a new one." Working around the house was simply not his thing.

I remember the early days in our marriage. Dennis would be plopped in his easy chair in front of the television, and I would circle him like a vulture, trying to give him a gentle hint of how I felt he could better use his time.

Dennis and I have come a long way since then. He's still not Mr. Fixit, but he tries. And somewhere along the way he developed an enjoyment of gardening so that he could spend time with me.

Meanwhile, I've learned the importance of loving my husband unconditionally. I need to receive Dennis as a gift from God. And I need to remember that God is working in his life.

In our first month of marriage, Dennis took the initiative to make a small financial investment, and we lost money. At that point, I faced a choice of my own: Would I accept him, or would I make him feel like a further failure?

I realized God wanted to use this mistake to teach Dennis how to become dependent on Christ and be a better husband. I needed to let Him work in my husband's life.

At times like this, a wife learns that love is not all feelings. This is where you honor your wedding vows and say, "You are the man God gave me and I'm committed to you, no matter what."

A note to husbands, the lessons shared by Barbara Rainey apply to us as well. Perhaps your mother did certain things that you admired that your wife does not do well. Your response should be “You’re the woman God gave me and I’m committed to you no matter what.”

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