Friday, 4 November 2011

Fifteen Ways to Please Your Wife

How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful you are!
Song of Solomon 1:15

Dennis Rainey, FamilyLife Today offered the following suggestions for husbands on ways to please your wife. While many of these actions won’t come easy for some of us, they are all easy to do and cost nothing (except for filling her car). The book entitled Love Languages by Gary Chapman identifies five primary love languages. They are (1) Quality time, (2) Words of Affirmation, (3) Touch, (4) Gifts, and (5) acts of service. Most of the five are touched upon somewhere in this list. Discover which expression of love on the list means most to your wife.

1. Hug and kiss her every morning before leaving the house.
2. Go to bed at the same time she does.
3. Brush her hair while complimenting her eyes and appearance.
4. When she's studying herself in the mirror, tell her, "You are so beautiful."
5. Evict late-night television from your bedroom.
6. During mid-afternoon, call or send her an email to ask how her day's going.
7. Try your hand at making breakfast on Saturday morning.
8. Put gas in her car, vacuum the floor mats, and clean the windows.
9. Write her a short love letter. List several ways she has blessed you this year.
10. Resurrect common courtesies: Hold the car door open. Offer her your arm.
11. Put the toilet seat down.
12. If you hear her engaged in a tough situation, compliment the way she handled it.
13. When you're together in a crowd, find a way to brag on her.
14. Help her put the kids to bed.
15. Pray with her every day. Every day!

If this sounds like a lot of work or if it's out of character for the kind of guy you are, do it anyway. You'll get better at it. And I guarantee your wife will love you for it.
Please send me your list of the ways you have shown your wife appreciation and love.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

The List

Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt.6:33
Dennis Rainey developed seven action points for daily living. I have taken the liberty of expanding each point, hopefully to add clarification.

1. Seek God, not sin. Most of us don’t wake up in the morning saying “I wonder what sins I can commit today.” Unfortunately sinning comes naturally, it takes no thought. However if when we wake up we start the morning with a prayer, “Father please keep me from temptation and help me to be obedient to You today”, things will probably go better.

2. Fear God, not man. Some of us are people pleasers by nature. Actually being a people pleaser is a sin (take it from one who knows) because we have made what man thinks of us more important than what God thinks.

3. Love God, not the world. Because of the way we are wired from birth we will always worship something. When I value anything more than God, i.e. my iPhone, my golf game, my children, my job, etc. in actuality I have made that person, place or thing my god for that moment.

Love God not the
 of this world
4. Believe God, not the deceiver. One of Satan’s primary weapons is deception. It worked in the Garden why not everywhere else? Satan will take the desire for a good thing and turn it into a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing.

5. Obey God, not your appetites. Our appetites for the things of this world are only limited by our imagination. We tend to feed on self-gratification, power, money, control and “toys”. We are to seek Him and His will for our lives.

6. Serve God, not self. Ouch! God tells us that we are to have no other Gods before Him; God tells us to put others ahead of ourselves; He says we are to love our wives as Christ loves us; and we are to respect our husbands. “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”Matthew 25:39-41

7. Worship God, not comfort. If we are honest with ourselves we act as though the world should revolve around my needs, my wants, and my desires. God must be number one in our lives. Excuse the crass analogy but it is like buttoning a shirt. If you start with the wrong button your shirt will be lopsided. If God isn’t first in our lives our lives will be lopsided.

By following these action points you will most certainly enhance your marriage!

Monday, 31 October 2011

Foul Tip

Dennis Rainey wrote an interesting blog around what is commonly referred to as a “foul tip” in baseball. It seemed more than fitting that since we are entering the World Series season that such an analogy was in order.

Foul tip
“I've often wondered why more people don't get hurt by foul balls that are hit into the stands during a baseball game. You'd think it would happen almost every time, especially those line drives that carom through an entire seating section. But even on those occasions when a stray ball does leave a lump or a bruise, you can hardly blame the batter, can you? I mean, he's not out to intentionally harm anyone. It's just what happens in the flow of the game, right?

That's probably not the way Baltimore Orioles' Jay Gibbons felt not long ago when he fouled a pitch straight back over the screen. That's because this time, his wayward swing didn't threaten a nine-year-old sitting there with his cap and glove or a hot-dog vendor walking the steps or a pair of buddies taking in a game together.

No, Jay's foul ball hit his own wife right in the ribcage.
He didn't mean to. It wasn't intentional.

This story reminded me of those sarcastic remarks we sometimes let slip.

Or those little unkind things we foul off. Or those grunts we utter when we think the magazine article we're reading is much more interesting and important than what the wife is saying.

A foul ball can hurt as much as a direct hit. A fairly insignificant slight or accusation--especially when it's allowed to fester and accumulate and build on the last one--can bruise your relationship. That's why you must guard against minor, offhand offenses. Stop occasionally and go see if your words are hurting anyone--your spouse, a child or a friend.

Careless words, a lapse in judgment – these have the effect of being hit by an emotional “foul ball”. But whether intended or not, they can still carom with enough speed to wound and injure the ones you love the most.

So how do you handle a foul ball when it comes your way? What can we learn from the players who are never surprised by foul balls, but anticipate them and aggressively pursue them? If you are the recipient of an emotional foul ball you might assume that you have done something to warrant being hit. You might ask the person how you may have offended them. If you have delivered the painful blow be quick to ask for forgiveness. Offering to autograph a ball probably won’t cut it.