Monday, 7 March 2011

What's Your Position?

The following is an excerpt from “Moments with You” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey of Family Life.

Dennis Rainey
 If you're like most married Americans, your relationship likely resembles one of these three positions:
1. Face to face. Like typical newlyweds, this couple is cruising down the highway of life in a convertible with the top down. A favorite CD is playing love songs through the speakers while their fingers are intertwined. She rests her head on his shoulder, and he plants an occasional peck on her cheek.

2. Side by side. This couple has traded in their convertible for a minivan. With toddlers strapped into car seats, with sippy cups rolling around on juice-stained carpets, their relationship is showing signs of strain. It takes everything they've got sometimes to stand beside one another as they make it through the day.

3. Back to back. Like ships passing in the night, this couple now drives his and hers cars. Their house is more hotel than home. Friction, harsh words, verbal jabs, and anxiety have replaced whatever amount of intimacy used to pass between them.

Most likely, you've experienced a little of each of these--perhaps all in the same week! But Barbara and I have discovered that the position that holds the most lifelong promise for a marriage is actually arm in arm--walking together at the same pace, in the same direction.
It means mutually figuring out the unique rhythm of your marriage--making the investment to know each other so well that you're able to walk in lockstep together

Obviously if you are face to face rejoice and thank the Lord for bringing you together. Marriage can bring you great joy but remember the purpose of marriage is to bring glory to God.

When you are in the side by side stage of life the struggles you face will either draw you incredibly closer to one another or put a wedge between you that will cause you to drift apart. Frankly it will depend in great measure as to whether or not God is at the center of your marriage or just an occasional visitor.

If you are back to back it will take a lot more than secular counseling and some date nights. You both need heart surgery and that comes only through the work of the Holy Spirit. It will require a great deal of work but the financial cost is far less than a divorce and the emotional payoff is huge!