Thursday, 10 February 2011

Communication with Grace

I appreciate Dr. Dana Fillmore’s videos, some of which you can view on YouTube. On the following video Dr. Fillmore suggests a way that couples can improve their ability to communicate:



Can this approach work? Absolutely it can work. Learning communication techniques can be quite helpful. However I believe that what is at issue is not a deficiency of skills but a condition of the heart. Dana recognized that she might have a control issue, that’s an issue of the heart. Romans 12:2 tells us that we are to “be transformed by the renewing of our minds.” Our minds are part of our heart. We transform our minds by getting into God’s Word and through prayer. Dr. Fillmore’s husband must have detected a critical spirit or Dana’s need to control or he would have listened to her. I subscribe that if she were to deal with her heart issue that she would not, in this example, have had to rely on a technique. All that said, I loved Dr. Fillmore’s concept of a “moment of grace”, for that is what we receive throughout every day from a Father that loves us beyond anything we can imagine. We should be able to extend much grace because we have received much grace.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Spend Time Together

The following message from Dr. Dana Fillmore ( Psy.D ) is most educational and from a secular perspective I think she is on the money. I suspect if couples were to follow her advice their marriage could be better.



So as far as Dr. Fillmore’s advice is concerned, without question husbands and wives should spend a significant amount of time alone together every week in an effort to connect. My primary objection to Dr. Fillmore’s analysis would be the priority of her list. God has been omitted. If you truly believe that God designed your spouse down to every fiber of his /her being; if you truly believe that the God of the universe brought you and your spouse together for His glory and your good; and if you truly believe that God has extended grace to you well beyond anything you have a right to expect then wouldn’t it make sense to spend time with Him as well? God needs to be at the top of the list.