Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Talk Is Cheap

Actually talk is not cheap, regardless of how the old expression goes. Talk takes time. Time seems to be a precious commodity in our overly crowded schedules, therefore time is not cheap. It has been reported that the average couple talks less than 90 minutes a week about something other than running the house and caring for the kids.

As Mort Fertel suggests, “People’s priorities often become evident when you look at how they spend their time. How do you spend your evenings and weekends? Are you watching television and playing on the computer more than you are talking to your spouse? Do you talk on the phone and visit with friends and family more than you talk to your spouse?”

Challenge yourself to spend time each day talking and connecting with your partner. If you feel like you can’t make the time, it’s probably a sign of a serious problem. If you feel like you don’t want to make the time, that’s even more serious. Try spending 15 minutes more than you already do giving your partner your undivided attention. Turn off the television and your phone and engage in some quality time together.

My guess is that most of us think that we are much better than the average, that we talk far more than 90 minutes a week. I challenge you to do a little research project. First you have to agree to behave during the period in question exactly the way you are currently behaving. Second, don’t tell your spouse what you are doing. Next record the amount of time spent talking to your spouse about something other than the general running and upkeep of the house and/or your kids. If you can do this for one week great, if only for a day, so be it.

Can you honestly say that the period during which you conducted your research was most reflective of your normal behaviors during a similar time frame? If so, how did you make out? The goal isn’t to be better than the national norm in terms of the amount of time you talk, the goal is to enrich your marriage so that it glorifies God.

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