Tuesday, 19 July 2011

So You're Expecting

One of God’s greatest gifts is children. Unfortunately it is reported that two-thirds of couples see the quality of their relationship drop within three years of the birth.

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal (of all publications) cited several contributing factors including:
• Conflict intensifies: if the couple fought over finances before the baby they will likely fight all the more after.
• Roles change: mothers will tend to focus their energy on the baby, often the fathers feel useless and/or neglected.
• Conversation dulls: time for real conversation is neglected.
• Sleep is scarce: often both parents are sleep deprived
• Post Partum depression: exacerbates all of the above

It doesn’t have to be this way. First Christ has to be at the top of the pyramid, followed by the husband/wife, then family, etc. That means that baby is number three in the “food chain”. S/he is yours only for a season; your marriage is “til death do you part”. The couple must be very intentional about setting aside time for themselves. They must make time to pray together, set aside time for in-depth conversations, and set aside time for intimacy.

The operative word is intentional. The tyranny of the urgent will replace the important if you let it. Most of us can find or make the time to do that which we really want to do. You may need to be creative. Parents, siblings, an elderly couple in the church and/or friends may be willing to give you occasional relief, if sitters are too prohibitive. Go for a walk, a bike ride or run, pack a picnic, go for an ice cream cone, rent a movie, do a puzzle, or play scrabble. The point is carve out time to be together and focus on something other than your new found bundle of joy.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post a comment