Friday, 3 June 2011

Marriage is a Team Sport

“Success demands singleness of purpose.” Vince Lombardi

Dr. Robert Paul is known for his work at the National Institute for Marriage, where they conduct four day intensive marriage counseling workshops for marriages that are all but over. It is referred to as a “marriage emergency room.” He is also the author of Finding Ever After in which he likens marriage to a team sport.

A winning team is typically comprised of players with complementary skills, talents and abilities. The individual qualities are essential to creating and sustaining a winning team. Not all football players are possessed with the physical strength of a linesman. The best linemen can’t win a game without a fleet footed running back and/or an exceptional quarterback. Not everyone has the ability to throw a fast ball 100 plus miles an hour but rarely is that the same individual who can crank out 30 plus homeruns every year.

In 1Corinthians 12 the apostle Paul reminds us that we are created intentionally unique for a reason. Each of us has a boundary that separates us from each other. This boundary establishes our identity as a person; it is not to be disregarded or overridden, because we need it for survival, for health, and for wholeness. Our differences are more than just those of gender. As couples we need to learn to appreciate our differences.

Intimate oneness is radically different from sameness. Oneness occurs when two intimate people also share a common mission or as Lombardi would say a singleness of purpose. Oneness is about unity of purpose. Amazing things happen when that purpose is to have a marriage that glorifies God.

Unity of purpose (biblical oneness) is not trying to become one by getting rid of differences but learning how to value and utilize those differences for the “teams” overall well being.

The fact that we are on the same team means being all we’re meant to be individually is also for the good of the team. We want the basketball player who excels at the three point shot to take it whenever he has an opening.

Dr. Paul states, “Marriage is like a team sport. You either win as a team or lose as a team; when you’re on the same team, there are only two possible outcomes: You both win, or you both lose.”

If the team suffers a loss you must be determined to find a way to prevent it from happening again. Typically when couples are having a disagreement they adopt a posture of being battle ready or defensive. This must stop!

Let the Bible be your play book and God be your coach.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you! This is the truth! I posted this on my facebook for others to read!


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