Friday, 20 May 2011

Why Can Marriage Hurt So Much?

Dr. Dana Fillmore poses the question, “So we stood up in front of God and man and promised to love and cherish each other, right? Then why does the person we’re married to sometimes have the ability to hurt us more than anybody else on the planet?”

Have you ever had the misfortune of being sunburned and having someone come up behind you and give you a pat on the back? Metaphorically speaking, our spouses “pat us on the back” with their words and behaviors. By failing to see that our spouse is hurting we might say or do something that exacerbates the pain or neglect to say or do something that might bring some relief.

To carry the metaphor a little further, the husband or wife’s words or behavior might be the equivalent of the sun, the direct cause of the pain.

Ephesians 4:26 tells us “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Just as you can avoid sunburn by spending less time in the sun so too the pain that may arise from hurtful words or deeds will be lessened greatly if we deal with them quickly.

Better yet wear a hat and put on sun screen so the affects of the sun’s rays won’t cause pain. Here Ephesians 4:31-2 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.” Bitterness, rage and anger represent the sun. By applying God’s Word you can protect yourself from exposing yourself to the harmful rays of hurtful words and actions of others. Forgiveness has to be one of the best salves one can put on hurts inflicted by others.

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