Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Feelings

Just the title of this posting will most likely turn off the guys. But wait there have been numerous moments in sports when some of our most beloved athletes have shed tears in front of national TV. Feelings aren’t bad; they have been given to us by God.

A recent blog that I follow had a posting entitled “Expressing Feelings in the Relationship. ” It went on to say,
Many people have difficulty identifying and expressing their feelings. Men, in particular, seem to have difficulty expressing feelings of sadness. Often, their sadness or anxiety seems to come out as anger. People may fear their emotions are a sign of weakness or they might think they are exaggerating a problem. Other people don’t take the time to evaluate their feelings prior to reacting. Not sharing feelings can cause resentment and angry outbursts.

When discussing a problem, it is important to be able to label the feelings you experience when this problem occurs. It is okay to experience feelings, whatever those feelings might be, and there is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed by them. If you are experiencing negative emotions about a situation, it might be a signal that something needs to change.”



Labeling the feelings is the easy part. Now the work begins. You need to ask the “What” question and the “why?” question. What is God trying to teach me? Why do I get so angry when my wife says, “You are just like your father.”? Why do I get so upset when my husband says, “All you do is nag.”?

This could be like peeling an onion. I get angry because I feel like my wife talks to me like I am a little child. I feel disrespected and put down. My pride is wounded. Ah-ha you have a pride issue. The next step is to go to the Lord and ask Him (a) to forgive you for being prideful and (b) to help you to overcome your pride and grow. Next you go to your wife and say, “Please forgive me for getting angry at what you said to me, my pride was getting in the way. I allowed what you said to make me feel like a little child. I felt disrespected and put down.” At this point your wife may have cardiac arrest.

Here is where God comes in. A negative emotion is absolutely a signal that something needs to change. It is a red flag. What most likely needs to change is your heart. That is why it is important as the blog points out to “label” the feelings that you are experiencing. There is a very good possibility that God is using this particular experience to bring about that change.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post a comment