Thursday, 17 February 2011

The Power of Words

There is a very old saying “Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me.” That is garbage! If I had a dime for every person who is carrying the baggage of hurtful words around with them I could afford a Starbucks Vente Caramel Brulee Latte for the rest of eternity, provided God will let coffee into heaven.

At my age my disc space is limited. I barely remember important things, let alone the unimportant. But even I can remember something that was said about me by my elementary school principal. She said that I was not very bright but a very nice boy. Denial has served me well. Dennis Rainy tells a great story of how he was told by his typing teacher that he would not amount to anything. He drove to her house on the day he graduated from college to tell her she was wrong. Many people have been scarred by things that have been said to them. They have let careless words, most likely spoken in anger, define who they are. “You are stupid.” “You will never amount to anything.” “Can’t you do anything right?” “We were counting on having a boy.” And the list goes on.

Research has discovered that for us to be equipped to engage in a healthy long term relationship as an adult we needed to have experienced respect, encouragement, comfort, security, appreciation, support, acceptance, approval, attention, and affection in massive doses as a young person growing up.

Few, if any of us, have experienced that kind of love from our earthly parents. Two things tend to happen. We forget that the person we married is probably as starved for affirmation as we are, and we tend to look to our spouse to fill the void that was left from our childhood. How likely is that?

To compound the problem our self-talk keeps repeating these phrases just so we don’t forget them. Perhaps they even become self-fulfilling prophecies. Enough already!! Quit playing those negative, degrading tapes in your mind. Park your mind. Replace your old messages with Psalm 139:13 “For You (God) created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” In other words you were designed by God and as some wise theologian once said, “He don’t make no junk.” Furthermore the Sovereign God of the universe sacrificed His Son for you. He promises never to leave you or forsake you. He promises that “in all things (He) works for the good of those who love him…” In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells us that He has a plan for your life, a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, a plan to give you a hope and a future. Let the promises of God fill those voids that cause you to be constantly looking to your spouse to “complete” you. When you draw life and healing from God you become a source of blessing to your spouse.

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