Thursday, 20 January 2011

Pull the Weeds and Plant the Seeds

In his book What Did You Expect Paul Tripp suggests that marriage is really just a long-term exercise in gardening. He makes the point that for some reason we expect our marriages to thrive without the daily work of pulling the weeds as they begin to germinate.   

Initially weeds in our garden are almost imperceptible and so it is in a marriage. Romance starts to drift; face to face communication is diminished; little conflicts fester; and we become too busy. If any of these weeds are beginning to flourish in your marriage eradicate them immediately.

There is one weed whose root is indestructible. The weed is self-centeredness. It rears its ugly stalk in every marriage because it is the DNA of sin and exists in all of us. It manifests itself in the way we think, in what we desire, in how we act, and in how we respond to our partner. While your husband/wife might be willing to point out your self-centeredness this is one weed that you might want to self-police. One of the best ways to prevent this weed from growing is to become other-centered. I believe Scripture might refer to that as loving your neighbor as yourself.

Inattention or neglect is another weed that creeps into our marriages. We begin to take things for granted. We allow our calendars to crowd out personal time together. The little things we did when we dated aren’t even on the radar screen. What were those things you did for one another before you said “I do.” 
Self-righteousness appears when our “inner lawyer” begins to internally argue in our defense while our husband/wife is still talking to us. You may want to fire your lawyer and represent yourself only after you have heard all the facts.

The variety of weeds is too large to begin to address each and every one. Suffice it to say that unless you are incredibly diligent weeds will grow in your marriage. However if you tend to your marriage daily, pull out any weed that appears the moment you spot it, and best of all plant something in its place you can have a beautiful, well maintained marriage.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post a comment