Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Crossing the Delaware

“Que Sera Sera”… Whatever will be, will be. Some resign themselves to a life of depending on fate. Others follow the thinking of Edmund Burke who said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men (and women) to do nothing.” Sadly many unhappy couples resign themselves to a marriage that is less than satisfying which is less than what God intended.

A posting by the American Association of Christian Counselors recounted a critical Revolutionary war battle. "During the Revolutionary war in 1776, the American forces were so outnumbered that they were forced to retreat from New York, a retreat which did not end until the crossing of the Delaware River at Trenton. With severely reduced forces that were scantily clothed and poorly armed, the American troops were horribly depressed. Washington did not give up hope, and Henry Knox followed his lead – there would be no reason for despondency. It was on Christmas night that Washington made the decision to cross the Delaware, directed by Knox, to surprise the Hessian forces at Trenton, capturing 1000 men as well as supplies. This event gave a much needed boost to the American morale and, most believe, changed the course of the war."
You’re thinking okay now you have really lost it. What on earth does the Revolutionary War have to do with my marriage? IF you are in a less than God glorifying marriage you are facing or have faced your own Delaware River. You too can become horribly depressed or you can garner the courage for a surprise attack. Armed with humility and a willingness to forgive or ask for forgiveness approach your spouse. You just might capture the heart of the person with whom you are, figuratively speaking, at war.

Like it or not you are in a war. Satan would like nothing better than to bring down a Christian marriage. Our culture stacks the odds against you by telling you that your religion is either irrelevant or that you are intolerant. In fact God’s Word gives you the ammunition to fight for your home, your family, and your life. The Apostle Paul says that we are to put into practice what the Word has told us. (Phil. 4:9), and then the peace of God will flow, from the God of peace, into your heart and life.


  1. I wanted to thank you so much for your site. I have been reading it for a couple of months now- and I don't remember how I found it but it is the ONLY site I have found with the right perspective, and an uplifting message which truly has helped me as I am going through a trial. My husband confessed to me 2 months ago that he had an affair after my fourth baby was born about 9 months ago. The shock and hurt that i went through is indescribable. I immediately purposed to forgive him, but still it was a process that I had to go through- I searched the internet for help topics but it seems like everywhere you look, it makes it seem like something that can't truly be overcome! I know in my heart that is false, but I needed some encouragement, because my heart was so broken.

    I know that God works together everything for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, but I needed a site like this one to uplift me and let me know that I CAN overcome. Thank you for providing this resource. I wish more people knew about it.

    I will continue this comment in another comment, as my message was too large to do in one.

  2. And I can tell you something- God has removed the pain I have had associated with this. And it has been 2 months. In only two months, God was able to set me free from the hurt. How is it possible? I don't know, but I know it has happened.

    I think that one thing that has helped me to heal so quickly is seeing the change in my husband- you see, he was intoxicated the entire time the affair was going on, and he was suicidal. He kept trying to kill himself with alcohol- and I was unaware this was happening, because he had to travel so much to work and he barely communicated with me, although I opened up to him many times letting him know how much I missed communicating with him - I knew he had problems but didn't know how bad they were.

    My husbands' sinking to the lowest point in his life is what made him realize that he never really had accepted Christ as His Savior, and he realized that he truly NEEDED a Savior in order to become the husband and father he needed to be. He was serving another master, and though he had tried many times to reform, he realized how utterly helpless he was without Christ.

    One day, he came home and read the Bible, where it says that you must repent- and there in our house, he truly repented, and he said that at that moment, he felt so free. Free from all of the burdens he had been under. But he knew he had to be forgiven from the one he had the next day, he confessed everything.

    I had complete faith in him before this happened, and I was absolutely shattered by the news. I thought there was no point in living and didn't eat for a few days, but I kept the hope that somehow, God would turn this into a positive thing.

    My husband's change of heart was genuine. I saw immediate change in his behavior and attitude. Where he had always been pessimistic before (he called himself a "realist"), he began expressing optimism that I had never seen before. He began reading the Bible with me and praying with me- something he had NEVER done before....I was shocked. It was something I had prayed for for 12 years!! He gave a testimony at church, and was baptised, and then, only weeks after the day he confessed, we had a wedding renewal service, which was so wonderful!

    He started treating the children with more love and affection. He turned off the TV which he used to run constantly to keep from communicating with me, and now has been spending over 9 hours with me each day, talking to me (walking up in the early morning hours just so we can get alone time). This is how much time he used to spend watching TV or playing video games!

    So much has changed that it is incredible even to imagine it, but I know that God has a purpose and plan in everything. Even though my marriage was defiled and the purity I once knew is gone (we were each other's onlys before this), I know that God has restored our marriage and that from now on, I have a husband who loves me with GODS love, not his own.

    I just wanted to share this with you... thanks again for your resource. I will continue reading here.

  3. I had written another comment but I think it must not have gotten through. I will try to write it again later. :)


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