Friday, 3 September 2010

Dear Tech Support

Dear Tech Support;
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 3.0 and golf 4.1. The Conversation module no longer runs and Housekeeping 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail.


Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

You might try www.Ithoughtyoulovedme.html . Download Tears 6.2 and Guilt 7.0. These might fix the jewelry and flowers application problems. Just remember that if you run these programs too often it could lead to withdrawal.

Do not install Mother-in-law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. It would be ill advised to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0. This is an unsupported application that could crash Husband 1.0

In summary, Husband 1.0 can be a great program, but it has limited memory and it cannot learn new applications quickly. To improve memory performance you might try additional software, i.e. Cooking 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7

Good luck
Tech Support

So what gives, why is it that so often the person we dated has little resemblance to the person we marry? Paul Tripp would tell you the person that you dated was a fake and that the person you married is the real thing. Statistics would tell you that if you decided to upgrade your entire system, i.e. go from Husband 1.0 to 2.0 your chances of success that it will work any better are even worse.

So what should you do if this humorous scenario hits too close to home? Take your marriage to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him to forgive you for your contribution to the decline in your relationship, ask Him show you how to be the wife He has called you to be and pray that He would cause your husband‘s heart to be unsettled and desirous to become the husband that he was called to be.

God wants you to have a marriage that would bring Him glory. Do not settle for less. Continue to pray and to do those things that are in your power to bring about such a marriage.

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Forgive and Forget - Nadda Gonna Happen

Surely at some point in your life you heard the expression “just forgive and forget”. In my case the forgetting part is getting easier with each passing year, but that is more a function of age than maturity. The reality is that the deeper the hurt the less likely you will be able to forget. It has been said that elephants never forget, since most people I know are intellectually superior to elephants it is unlikely you will forget a painful experience.

First of all there is nowhere in God’s Word that you are told to “forgive and forget”, just forgive one another. It seems to be a common misconception that God forgets, after all He loves us unconditionally and He has forgiven His children for past, present and future transgressions. Think about that – okay long enough. Do you think it is remotely possible for the Creator of the Universe, the One who was in existence before the world began, the One who knows what will happen 10,000 years from now, can actually forget? I can hear Him saying “I think there was a sea that I parted but for the life of me I can’t remember when or where or what it was called.” Yeah right! Here’s the deal – God chooses to not remember our transgressions.

Forgiveness on the other hand is a must. Unless you are willing to forgive there is no chance to re-establish the relationship you would desire. Hebrews refers to the “root of bitterness” that grows up within you, that results from your unforgiving spirit. There are numerous studies that indicate that those who hold on to a grudge often experience negative physical and emotional problems.

So what does forgiveness look like? The Peacemaker Organization lays out four components of true forgiveness. It begins with a prayer, “Father in response to your love for me and in reliance on your grace, I desire to forgive name of offender. Specifically with your help Father I will
(1) Not dwell on the hurt /injustice that has been done to me
(2) Not bring up the incident and use it against the person
(3) Not talk to others about the incident
(4) Not allow the incident to adversely affect our future relationship”

If you are the offender you need to go to the Lord and repent. You must ask him for forgiveness for what you have done and ask His help in turning away from future such behaviors. This is not the forgiveness of salvation but a forgiveness that restores your relationship with Him. Then go to the individual you have offended and ask them to forgive you. Do not say “If I hurt you I am sorry.” The word “if” suggests that you may not have hurt them and in fact you are not convinced you really have anything to apologize for. You must be specific and ask for forgiveness. “Please forgive me for my harsh tone of voice and for what I said.”

The Book of Colossians reminds us that in spite of our sinful natures God has “made us alive together with Him, having forgiven all (our) trespasses.” (Col. 2:13) In addition because we are children of God we are to “bear with one another and forgive one another. (Col. 3:13)

Monday, 30 August 2010

What's So Funny About Marriage?

Mark Gungor, a former pastor, spends much of his time conducting a seminar called “Laughing Your Way to a Better Marriage” and he has written a book by the same title.

Laughter is an important component of any healthy marriage. Ed Welch of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation wrote a recent article on how to enhance your marriage through laughter. ( ) Laughter is known to have great therapeutic value.

How we respond to a situation, circumstance or event is a choice. Ed is consciously working to choose laughter as his response to a seemingly negative event. He ended his article with a beautiful example of how we can turn a disaster into a victory.

My wife and I were getting ready to leave on a vacation for two weeks. In preparation, I over-watered a large jade plant, thinking that would last it for our entire trip. I couldn’t remember if I had drilled a hole in the bottom of its large pot, but I was in a hurry and wagered that I never did. Then I went off and started packing. Around a minute later both Sheri and I walked by the jade plant and watched a river – about 3 feet wide and 10 feet long – flowing from the pot. It made me think of the water flowing from Ezekiel’s temple. I had, indeed, over-watered. Normally, I would get frustrated by something like this, especially given that we had to leave very soon. But, as the perpetrator, all I could do was to find some rags and wait for my wife’s response. (Did I mention that we just installed new hardwood floors?)
Her response? She laughed. I had told her earlier in the day about my updated thoughts on laughing, so she laughed. Her laugh was as phony as could be, but it said “if you think a little water on our new hardwood floors, which was a result of you hurrying around and not really thinking about what you were doing, which might leave a stain and send water into the basement ceiling, could cause me to waver in my affection for you then you have another thing coming.” It was the best start of a vacation ever.

If you and your husband/wife can learn to laugh together at what life throws at you, it will transform your marriage. Not too long ago I broke a good glass and I was visibly upset at being so clumsy. My wife said “It is only a glass – get over it” and we both started to laugh. Now that I think about it she says that to me a lot “get over it” and we do laugh a great deal.