Monday, 22 November 2010

Marital Intimacy

David Powlison, author and faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation gets up close and personal.

David is brutally honest as he depicts many marriages. He likens the couples to cars on a highway. In some cases the couples are headed toward one another, driving down the center lane, a crash is imminent. Other couples are driving in complete opposite directions, away from one another. Still other couples are driving on the same side of the highway but constantly passing one another.

Among other things, 1Corinthians 13 tells us that love is to be patient and kind; instead all too often it is destructive. We are quick to justify our own behavior and blame our husband/wife for their failings.

Here is the key –it is not that we don’t love our spouse enough; it is that we love God too little. The Parable of the Sower (the Book of Luke 8: 5-8) reminds us that our relationship with the Lord parallels our relationship with our husband/wife.

If someone’s heart is hard it is like the seed sown by the farmer that lands on the hard path, the seed will not grow. We will be embittered toward our spouse and there is no vertical relationship. Seed that falls on the rocky soil is likened to a marriage where disappointment reigns. The relationship with the Lord is shallow and superficial. Seed that fell among the weeds and thistles manifests itself as a marriage which is overcome by distractions. The couple keeps busy doing and running. They are distracted by the trappings of the world. These things choke out the relationship with the Lord. Where there is good soil the husband/wife exhibit humility, and a contrite and repentant heart. They look to the Lord as their source of strength and recognize that it is they that need to change not their spouse.

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