Monday, 18 October 2010

The Missing Ingredient

Have you ever baked something only to come to the realization that you omitted an ingredient? Some things you might leave out, like vanilla, and you may not be able to tell much difference in the end product. If you leave out baking powder you will not like the results.

So it is with some seemingly good marital advice if key elements are left out. In a recent posting Mort Fertel ( recounted a portion of a wedding service that he and his wife were privileged to overhear. On the surface it sounded like very sage advice. The pastor’s message to the couple went something like this:

You decided to spend the rest of your life
together because of your FEELINGS. But the rest
of your life together will be decided by your

"Take a good look at your hands," the pastor
requested of them. "Because it's what you DO in
the years ahead that will determine what you SEE
in each other's eyes." 

In other words, what you see is NOT what you get.
What you DO is what you will see.
We all want to gaze into our spouse's eyes and
feel the depth of their love. But in the long
term, those looks are not because we met Mr. or
Mrs. Right; it's because we did RIGHT and because
we earned the right over time to see that love in
each other's eyes.
The advice is spot on, the problem is that we are incapable of behaving in such a self-sacrificing way without submitting to God. In Mark 10:18 Jesus said, “Why do you call me good?... "No one is good—except God alone.” Yet with the help of His Spirit who dwells in us we can do good. The ingredient that is missing in this message is to encourage the couple to put God at the center of their marriage. Try as they might, regardless of their good intentions, this couple will fail if they attempt to apply this wisdom in their own strength, and with their own power.

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