Friday, 24 September 2010

Is "Ever After" Too Long?

A recent article in the Philadelphia Inquirer entitled “Divorcing After 40 Years of Marriage” cited the recent break up of Al and Tipper Gore as becoming more the norm. There appear to be no shortage of reasons for the breakup of couples who have been married for twenty years or more including the fact that we are living longer, the discovery of Viagra, women in the work force, intimacy has become a vague memory, financial stability and needy grown children.

Didn’t God know all this? And what’s this “until death do us part” malarkey – what was God thinking? I find it interesting that we use our increased longevity as a reason for divorce. It is like marriage was a sentence that got commuted because we died. It’s like saying if you are going to extend my sentence by an additional ten to twenty years I’m going to make plans to break out.

As a general rule, intimacy becomes a vague memory because there are problems in the marriage not because there are performance issues that can’t be addressed.

I can’t imagine dissolving a thirty year marriage because of having a thirty something child who is a leach that drains the blood out of his/her parents marriage. Quit enabling the kid. No doubt they have made some bad choices and that necessitates dealing with the consequences if they are ever to learn from their mistakes.

Women in the workforce and financial security seem to be tied by a pseudo umbilical cord. This contends that men are only good for security and an occasional one night stand. There is no question that women should be encouraged to find fulfillment by using the abilities, skills and spiritual gifts that they have been given. Check out Proverbs 31:10-31. The wife described therein is obviously incredibly capable but she is not using her vast skills to gain independence.

Partners in a God centered marriage are not looking for an exit strategy, they are praising God and thanking Him for each day they have together. This is what God wants for each of us who have said “I Do”. 33However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].

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