Friday, 16 July 2010

Don't Rock the Boat

Did you ever wonder about the derivation of phrases that you have heard ever since you were small? Who was the first person to say it and under what circumstances? I just assumed the phrase “don’t rock the boat” originated with someone like me who was dumb enough to get into a small boat knowing full well that they had a dread fear of the water. Perhaps so, but the meaning of the expression has evolved into “do not upset people by trying to change a situation.”


I would say that if you would describe your marriage as a luxury yacht, stay the course and keep doing what you are doing. If you would describe your marriage as a dinghy taking on water then I would suggest you rock the boat!

There is another idiom that says that the definition of crazy is “doing the same thing the same way but expecting to get different results.” It may even be crazier to accept a mediocre, dissatisfying, unfulfilling marriage without consulting the manual written by the creator of marriage – yes that would be the Bible. Now I’m not talking having to read all 66 books, though that wouldn’t hurt, I’m talking about reading 14 verses. Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1Peter 3:7 would be the equivalent of the Bible Cliff Notes on marriage.

Here’s the tough part – do what it says! Husbands love your wives as you love yourself. “That’s impossible” you say, “I can’t love anyone more than I love myself.” That’s the point. Get over yourself; it will be worth the effort I promise you. “But you don’t know my wife; she makes the taming of the shrew look like a Disney movie.” There are many translations of the Bible, some are thought to be more accurate than others, but none of them say, “if your wife treats you as you would like to be treated then love her as you love yourself.”

Wives you are called to respect your husband. Why? Because God wired your husband such that respect is highly important to him. Secondly because God knew that it would be difficult for you to do so. It goes back to the Garden but that’s another story for another day. You say, “he is not worthy of respect, etc., etc.” God’s command is not conditional upon your husband’s performance.

So if your marriage doesn’t glorify God – rock that boat and change your situation.

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