Tuesday, 4 May 2010

The Perfect Storm


A "perfect storm" is an expression that describes an event where a rare combination of circumstances will aggravate a situation drastically.  John Eldredge recently applied this term to marriage as he suggested that, “your woundedness, your sin, and your style of relating (not to mention your personality) will collide in devastating precision with your spouse’s.” 

My initial thoughts were:
(1)  “I’m not wounded, I’m not a sinner and I relate to others quite well thank you very much.”  - Okay, I didn’t buy this response either but it sounded masculine.
(2)  “I didn’t sign up for any program that sounded like that.” – Welcome to the club.
(3)  “I thought this blog was entitled ‘Marriage God’s Way’ so what’s all the gloom and doom?  Where’s the “they lived happily ever after” part of the story?”

To suggest that I haven’t been wounded would be to acknowledge that I have been living on another planet since birth.  Between self-inflicted wounds, pain that I have caused others and the hurts and disappointments I’ve experienced I am an intimate acquaintance with woundedness.

“If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”  (1John 1:8)  Enough said.

Which brings me to what is behind door number three – where is God in this perfect storm?  God is in the midst of the storm with me, just as Jesus was in the boat when the fierce storm came up.  Just the way he brought calmness to the raging sea and violent winds he can bring calmness to my marriage and yours.  Jesus never promised smooth sailing to his disciples nor has He promised us smooth sailing in our marriages.  Just as he promised to get his disciples safely to the other side, He promises to help us navigate the sometimes stormy seas of marriage.

If you can accept that God’s “ultimate will” prevails, in spite of the fact that we have free will, then accept that our spouses have been selected for us by God and that our life partner is an essential part of God’s plan for our life.  In some instance Kathleen is the rudder that helps me stay clear of some of life’s rocks, sometimes she is the sail that helps me catch the wind to keep going when things are difficult, and often she is the anchor that helps me stay steady and calm during a storm.

By seeing Kathleen as part of God’s sovereign plan for my life, by seeing her differing point of view as part of God’s rescue mission it has made for sunny days, no clouds and a zero percent chance of precipitation.

Is God in your boat or do you feel as though you have been set adrift?

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